10 gifts that will make your friends hate you

Looking for gift inspiration? Check our our essential guide on what not to buy, from our friends at http://www.shinyshack.com/ ......

So it’s your best friend’s birthday looming and you’re all out of gift ideas that will not only make your chum happy, but make you look good. After all, we all like that feeling of ‘Yeah, I chose well, didn’t I? I’m the daddy of gift buying. You can’t touch this.’
But before you splurge that cash, take another look at your choice. Chances are that if you’ve picked any of the gift ideas below, that gratitude will turn to glowering looks – and before you know it, they’ll be avoiding your calls and bad-mouthing you all over town.
1. Gym Membership Vouchers

Come on, what did you think your friends were really going to feel? You reckon they’ll be thankful for you pointing out that they need to get their fat asses down to the gym? Why not go the entire hog in insulting gift ideas and buy them a mirror that screams when they look in it?
2. Underwear & Sex Toys

Wrong, wrong, wrong on every level. Gift ideas which make passing reference to your friend’s love life means that you’re thinking about them naked . You’re one step away from peering through their bedroom window with night vision goggles, you sicko.


3. Second Hand Gifts

Thought you were being clever when you decided to recycle the repulsive ornament someone bought you a couple of years ago? Well, you didn’t think that Friend A just might have gone shopping with Friend B to help choose that tasteless piece of rubbish, did you? Now you’ve not only insulted Friend A with your cheap gift ideas but you’ve alienated Friend B by giving away that gift they spent their hard-earned cash on. Well done you.
4. Kitchen Appliances

So funky kitchen gadgets might seem like winning gift ideas. But if you’re buying for a friend with no skill in the kitchen, you’re obliging them to make you a meal so they can show you that they DO love your gift. And there you’ll be, merrily stuffing your face whilst they kick the damned gift around the kitchen whilst wishing you’d just get the hell out of their house.


5. Pets

Everyone loves pets, right? Who could hate a cute little puppy or kitten? Wrong – these gift ideas bite back. You try smiling whilst you’re clearing dog turds off the carpet for the eighth time that week. You’ve committed your friend to a living hell where they can never go on holiday again without paying for expensive pet sitters, have their furniture scratched to pieces and spend more on vet’s bills than they do on their houses. Yep, good choice.


6. Socks

It’s official. You’re the dullest person in the world and couldn’t be bothered to come up with decent gift ideas. If your friends haven’t realised this by now, they will when they open this lame excuse for a gift. Be prepared to spend a lot more time in front of the TV – on your own.


7. Gift to Charity

A right-on and worthy way to choose gift ideas, yes? No. What you’re actually saying is that your friend is a spoilt, materialistic waste of space that should start thinking about other people instead of themselves. Why don’t you finish it off with a slap around the face?


8. Beauty Products

These gift ideas include make-up, smellies and face creams. All no-nos, we’re afraid. What you’re inferring here is that your friend is ugly, stinky and wrinkled. You’re such a charmer, aren’t you?


9. Ironic ‘Bad Taste’ Gifts

Not everyone shares the same sense of humour as you, let’s face it. What you might find ironically hilarious, your friend might take at face value. A foetus-shaped cookie cooker might seem like a good idea at the time, but when you’re getting hate mail from the local anti-abortion league you’ll wish you stuck to more boring gift ideas like socks.


10. Home Made Gifts

Think that ‘home made’ equals ‘I put all my time and effort into making something just perfect for you that you’ll treasure forever?’ You’re deluding yourself –what it actually says is ‘worthless pile of crap that looks like cat’s vomit.’ Your friend won’t thank you for these sad-ass gift ideas, and neither will their cat, which you probably bought for them last year.



So if you want to hold onto those friends, choose carefully – you never know what those gift ideas might be saying about you!